I can't let go.

Of everything I've been through. I act strong on the outside, but I think about certain things, that I'm no ready to talk about, every single day. It haunts me. The more I think about them, the more stressed out I get about them, and I can't forget them, no matter how hard I try. I tried to take my life, a few years back, because of these things, and so much more has happened. I've been through so much. I've had so many bad things happen to me.

Yet, I would consider myself to be lucky. I have a rock, a reason to live, keeping me here. My daughter. I want to see her grow up. I want to give her advice when she needs it. I want her to truly be able to know who I am, what I stand for, and what I've accomplished.

But everyday I think about all the shit I was put through in my life, and how I ALWAYS had to put a smile on my face and act like everything was okay. I always had to be strong. I had to be an adult when my age was still in the single digits. I had to grow up way too fast. My maturity level is that of someone who has already graduated from college and I'm stuck in high school. It drives me crazy. I just want to move on with my life, but I can't stop thinking about this shit.

That's why I started THIS blog.
I'm slowly getting up the courage to put it out there.

We'll see.

~Ashley~